Happy Anniversary to My Best Friend

Today, like every day, I have so much to be thankful for. Today marks one year that I have been married to the most amazing man on the planet.  Every day I am honored and humbled by his love...and I know that I am so very blessed to have found someone who loves me for me, despite all of my flaws.  

Every day this week, I've had a "countdown to our anniversary" note in my car.  He had our beautiful Disney wedding day recreated and painted.. and that memory forever captured as a gift to me. (Thank you Ashley Wren - You did a beautiful job and it is PRICELESS to me!)  He puts so much thought into every little detail when it comes to making me feel special and loved.  Then today, beautiful flowers delivered to my office.  He really has NO idea how much I appreciate the thought he puts into things like this.

He is an amazing husband and father.  I cannot tell you the joy it brings me to watch him with our children.  He makes such an effort to be the kind of father they all need, because they all have different situations.  He is my rock.  My safety net.  My encourager.  My confidante.  My supporter. My teammate.  My best friend.  My soulmate.  The one who can turn tears into laughter.  The one who can turn sadness into happiness.  The one who encourages me to be a better me. The one who is my first thought in the morning and the last thought when I go to sleep at night.  He constantly tells me that I have shown him the meaning of true love, but he doesn't realize that he has shown me that too... Every day. The day he sent me a random Facebook message, my life was forever changed for the better.  

Christmas

Christmas. An extraordinary and special time of year that can often be swept away by stress and pressure, expectations and responsibilities, presents and worldly things… A time of year that the traditions and pressures of the holiday can become so important to uphold that we forget to actually live the moment and enjoy it… A time when everyone is striving to have the perfect gifts under the tree for children who don’t “need” a thing, the perfect decorations inside and out, and to attend every holiday party they are invited to just to keep up. 

Sadly, I am one of those people. I worry so much about what I want it to be that I forget to truly enjoy the weeks leading up to Christmas.  When I’m guilty, I say I’m guilty. 

Christmas to me is about LOVE, yet I am foolishly guilty of making it about THINGS.  Christmas is about ALL children, not just my own.  Christmas is about family…not just my family, but ALL families.  It is not just about our little town, our county, our state or nation… It is about the WORLD.  Christmas is about the lonely old lady on your street who has no family and might spend the day alone.  Christmas is about giving from the heart, not from our wallet.  Christmas is about the thankfulness for the year that has passed and how blessed we were in it…and looking forward to the new year to come and all of the exciting opportunities that may lie in store for us. Christmas is about others.  It is not about us. It is about helping to make someone else's day a little brighter than before.

At a time of the year where most celebrate the spirit of the season, there are families out there who may be apart, who have sick children, sick parents, who have no money to provide gifts for their kids, who are suffering through the loss of loved ones or going through a painful divorce. There are so many situations, yet so often we make it all about ourselves.  My children were fortunate enough to participate in Service Day recently at Connection Church and we took gifts and meals to a family right here in our own town.  Right here, underneath our noses, people live in horrific situations that we turn a blind eye to.  To go into that home and bring smiles to those children’s faces brought me more joy this year than it ever has before.  There were no presents under their tree, no fancy lights to impress the neighbors, no Target or Belk bags thrown everywhere because they had gone on a mindless shopping spree to buy gifts for people who don’t “need” anything at all.  There was just a little bare tree and some Christmas colored balloons taped to the ceiling.  I’ve participated in plenty of things like this over the years, but never have I been affected like I was this year.  I don’t know if that’s because I’m getting older or because my life is so full… I think it’s a combination of both.

Stan is notorious for leaving me love notes (nobody gag or laugh now at our sappiness) – and he left me one in my car this morning that said “YOU are my Christmas”.  How blessed to know that I can be that for him… and that he is that for me too.  He and I got engaged in early December and that has set the tone of the season for me… Christmas is LOVE.  Not just romantic love, but love for the world, for mankind, for those less fortunate, for those hurting, for those who are sick, for those who are lost and confused and trying to find their happiness in this world.  He has given me a whole new reason to love Christmas… and every holiday really.  We are truly blessed and so are our children.  We both have been through a lot of “life” and know what is important.  We place so much more energy on the things that cannot be bought, but can only be felt… and those are the things that matter most.  I hope each and every one of you have a Merry Christmas and a prosperous and healthy year in 2016.  May you be as blessed as I am in what you have the ability to FEEL this Christmas season.

Thankfulness...

So, although I am horrible at keeping up with writing these blogs and I certainly haven't done the daily November entries of things I am thankful for, I am a VERY thankful person. Today, I choose to focus on my family... Here goes...

For me, family is a very broad term that applies to a whole lot of people.  So specifically, I am thankful for my parents, who brought me into the world and taught me right from wrong (or tried!).  I love their example of a long lasting marriage, something I have so far not been blessed with. (but I plan to be in that club in a few decades if Stan will keep putting up with me.)  They have seen me struggle with divorce, cancer, death & almost everything in between. They were only blessed with one living child, but that one child has given them a run for their money, caused a lot of worry and made them sit through a lot of sleepless, worried nights.  (and they never killed me - thanks guys! :) ) They have seen me through the darkest of times but never left my side.  I am thankful for my children... all 5 of them... the 3 I gave birth to and the 2 that I chose to love and raise as my own.  They are special... every single one of them.  They bring daily joy into my life with their sweet smiles and innocence.  Every one of our children live in non-traditional households because of divorce or the death of a parent... and they do it well.  They will never know how much they amaze me and how much they are all loved.  I am thankful for my in-laws... Every single one of them... past & present.  I am thankful that they are all there, especially for my children, and that they help me show them every day that despite their unique circumstances, they are loved in many places and in many hearts.   I'm thankful that my children will grow up knowing that love and family aren't about blood.
I am thankful for a vast amount of aunts, uncles and cousins that I love dearly.  I'm so glad that we are the close family that we are... it is rare nowadays to find large extended families who get along and truly love each other.  We do that. I am so grateful for every one of you... When I count my immediates, I have 7 uncles, 8 aunts and 16 first cousins, spouses not included.  I also have 20 second cousins and many of them are like my own children!  Not everyone can even name a 2nd cousin, yet some of those kids are like siblings to my children.  It's amazing really... And I thank all of you for what you bring into my life.   Every single one of you have impacted my life and shaped me and I thank you for that.  I hope some of you younger ones will look back someday and say that I helped shape yours!  Don't think for a second that I forgot about Stan... Because guess what?  He gets to be last...mainly because, well, he is the only one in this list of poor souls that CHOSE me...so he is his own kind of special.  Everyone else was stuck with me because of blood relation, like it or not.  He actually sought me out, apparently found some good in me and stuck around. He and I are definitely not the traditional couple at all... We are Mike and Carol Brady, minus the bell bottoms and weird stuff! Haha! We lived whole lives before each other, yet somehow it all fit together perfectly and the past was erased when we came together.  I am so thankful for him on so many levels.  He tells me daily how thankful he is for me... and some days I have no clue why.  He tells me that even though our time together has been short, that it has been the best of his life. He tells me that he never knew that true love REALLY existed until he met me.  He tells me that I am his soulmate and that he knew it from practically our first date.  He stepped into a role that many men would have run from.  For many, it would have been too much drama... It would have been too hard... It would have been too much work... But for him, it was an easy, selfless choice.  I am thankful every day for the chance he took with me. Our choice to be together has been our every happiness and our beautiful family is our greatest blessing.

So, today, like every day, I am abundantly thankful.  I probably don't say it enough but my heart overflows every day with love and gratitude for my many blessings in this life.  I am also grateful for our many friends, young and old.  Happy Thanksgiving to you all, with lots of love.

The Truth Often Hurts

I promise... all of my blog entries aren't controversial or opinionated.  This one, however, is just that.  Sorry in advance!  

People who know me best know that I am 1000% honest. Honesty is one of my biggest pet peeves.  You better be honest with me always.  I will be honest with you.  Always. It's just not something I bend on.  Have I told little white lies that don't hurt anyone?  Of course!  We all do that to protect a person's feelings.  (For example:  "No, my friend... I don't think you've looked like you've gained weight!")  That's different than being dishonest about a serious situation or about something that is meaningful.  However, I'm amazed at the grown people that just can't handle the truth.  Dish out a little bit of truth and they get all defensive and claim to feel victimized by what they are hearing.  Maybe if you can't handle the truth, you are the problem. Maybe that means you are wrong.  Maybe that means you should look at yourself and reassess.  If the truth offends you, then you are the one with issues.  Sorry.  That's just the way it is.  I don't want to be associated with people who can't accept the truth, but want to put their own spin on it.  That was pretty short and sweet, but in need of being said today.  And yes, I have images..Always!  :) 

Doing the Right Thing...

From the time we are small children, we are taught (hopefully) by our parents the importance of doing the "right thing".  From treating others with respect to having a "happy plate"... It's all relevant in doing the "right thing".  As we get older and life begins to take its toll on us, it seems that some people find it harder to do what is right.  Life gets in the way. Greed gets in the way.  Finances get in the way.  Our jobs, our kids, our lack of time for ourselves, dealing with problems past/present/future... They can make you selfish.  It all clouds our judgment of doing the right thing in all situations. Doing the right thing isn't always the easiest road to take.  In fact, it's often the more difficult path.  It's often the one that requires a lot of thought and a lot of sacrifice.  I'm thankful that my parents raised me to do the right thing.  I'm not perfect.  Far from it.  I've certainly walked my own path of wrong choices and mistakes.  Despite all of that, I'm glad that I still possess compassion for others, no matter what bearing it has on my own life.  Whether I know you or not, I have compassion.  Whether I like you or not, I have compassion. Whether our skin is the same color or not, I have compassion. Whether our beliefs are the same or not, I have compassion. 
I work with people every day in my job who are struggling to pay tax bills they can't pay.  It takes an emotional toll on me day in and day out because I do have such a sympathetic heart and a love for others, even strangers.  I want to help, even when it isn't my "job" or my "duty" to help.  At the end of the day, I know that I can lay my head down each night and say that I strived to do right every day...That I strived to hear the needs of another person and help them if at all possible.  This is what compassion is all about.  I'm amazed at the lack of compassion in so many people.  People right here in our community.  People who immerse themselves in church and call themselves Christians.  People who are hypocritical in that they hide behind a cloak of "godliness", yet help to inflict pain and suffering on others.  People who view their needs as more important than the needs of others. I may go to my grave with fewer possessions and less money in the bank, but I will always know that I treated others the way I wanted to be treated and never tried to step on others for my own benefit.  In fact, I will always know that I worked hard to build others up every chance I got.

Little Things That Make Me Smile.....

Sometimes, the smallest little things just bring a smile to my face....I've never considered myself a person who was hard to please whatsoever.  Sometimes in the craziness of life, it's nothing short of awesome to just sit back and think of all the little things that make you smile.  Most of the time, these things are totally free and cannot be bought.  I'm so thankful for all of the amazing, free moments in life that take my breath away.  

* Love notes for no reason, left in my car or my purse ( or anywhere!) 
* Hugs & Kisses from my children
* Feeling my Apple watch tap me when Stan sends me a drawing or his heartbeat
* Watching Stan with the kids and knowing that despite what life threw at them, they will grow up with a father who loves them
* Fresh cut grass
* Sitting outside in our backyard (our new project and work-in-progress) and watching the squirrels and birds (Now that we are feeding them with all sorts of contraptions, we have a LOT of new friends.)
* Coming home to all of the laundry being done
* Hearing my husband tell me that he realizes he never knew true love until he met me
* Watching our kids on the trampoline in their bathing suits with the sprinkler going underneath it... Ahhhh, the joy of childhood and having no worries... It's priceless.
* Hearing Sara and Skylar refer to each other as "sisters"... Even at 4, despite their circumstances, they have a sense of family that is strong.  I love that.
* Middle of the night snuggles...Waking up randomly and realizing I am in the arms of an amazing man who loves me and who I love dearly
* Liam singing "Thinking Out Loud" to the top of his lungs in the car... He's my little Ed Sheeran
* Stan scaring Hope... (I don't know why, but she's a teenager and it's just fun...)
* Having two teenage girls in our family and knowing that they are both smart, strong & have a compassionate heart towards others... Thanks girls for being good examples for your younger siblings!  
* Liam asking us every night "Will you sleep with me 10 minutes?", while holding up 4 fingers...
* Stan & I binge-watching television shows... Right now we are rewatching all of Walking Dead... It's just fun.  
* Speaking with a British accent to the children just to be silly (they call it my Mary Poppins voice)
* Stan singing randomly in the car, making up the words as he goes, and me chiming in (right now, he is on a serious kick about being "Southern" and "the South"...) The kids get hysterically amused by us.  Also,  our renditions of famous movies scenes... A while back, we did a rendition from the opening of "Into the Woods" in our opera style voices.  Hope videoed it.  It was epic.
* The fact that I've made Stan a Disney freak like myself... I'm super stoked about that. (Although Disney certainly doesn't fall in that "free" category...Haha!)
* Knowing that I can make Stan happy every meal time just by picking Shane's :)
* Hearing my husband tell me every single day that he thinks I am amazing 
* Feeling a true partnership with Stan, knowing that together, we love each other, respect each other and are a true team.  
* Falling asleep holding hands, which we pretty much do every night.   

I really could go on and on... I'm just blessed and sometimes I want to shout it from the rooftops. You get the idea.... So for those of you who have asked... Yes, I still blog... Yes, it's still random... and sometimes kind of like free therapy.  :)  I hope everyone has a great weekend!
~Leslie

My Psychology Degree Comes In Handy..

So... I'm one of those MANY people who spent 4 years getting a degree that I don't use on a daily basis.  I worked in the field for a few years... and honestly, with my soft heart, it was just too hard.  I spent most of that time working in a nursing home.  My title was "Social Services Director".  I did admissions, dealing with families who were struggling with the guilt of placing their loved one in a nursing facility.  I worked with the patients on a daily basis.  I was the general problem solver for 92 residents and about 50 staff members.  If they were sad, I tried to comfort them.  If they were happy, I tried to rejoice with them.  If they were looking for their husband or wife who had been dead for 10 years, I would help them look and then try to get them to rest or something so that maybe the twisted memory would go away.  I didn't mind it a bit, but it wore me down emotionally after a while.  Now, years later, I find myself to be the person that many choose to tell their problems to.  I don't mind that either, but I still take everyone's problems to heart.  Recently, there have been many discussions brought to me from people who are divorcing and dealing with issues with their children and ex-spouses.  I can totally relate to it... Even with our pretty much normal daily lives, there is still a lot of unwanted & unnecessary drama that creeps in... we aren't immune to it by any means.  From day 1, Stan and I have known pretty much everything about each other.  It's total honesty between us.  That's the ONLY way it can be.  We have both been through a lot in our lifetime, including divorce.  So I feel like we have a lot of life experience.  It is disheartening when people don't respect boundaries after divorce, especially when one person has remarried and started a new family.  It is disheartening when people try to pit their children against the new stepparent for no reason at all.  If there is reason, that's a different story... but if your child has been gifted a good hearted stepmom/stepdad, then you should be thankful for that.  Many kids aren't that fortunate.  It is also disheartening that parents will say things to children that are negative, make them worry, etc. where the other parent/family is concerned.  Why can't people realize that in most cases, children benefit from spending time with both parents?  It's just a dramatic attempt at control and manipulation to be that way.  It is also disheartening to hear things come from children that you KNOW were heard from an adults mouth and are now being repeated.  I am SO careful what I say around any of the kids around me.  I never want to plant a bad seed in their precious little minds about ANYTHING.  I just don't get that other seemingly good parents do it constantly.  It is just a blessing to me to be able to reflect at the end of the day and know that we do our best to do right by our kids. All of them.  Stan and I sat last night admiring our yard work and listening to the tranquil sound of the fountain by our back porch. We talked for the longest time... We do that a lot and I love that about us.  We communicate beautifully and I think that is the key! We talked about and wondered why sometimes we have to go through hell and back to get to the place we want to be.  It doesn't make sense.  It doesn't seem right that we have to blindly make our way to our happy place.  I think we both agree that we are just thankful for our mistakes and our struggles, for they ultimately lead us to our forever.  So.. friends... I never mind listening and helping you through your struggles... Goodness knows, I have plenty of my own!  I wish nothing but the happiest of endings for you all.  I am proof that it is possible.