Today I witnessed something extra special while having lunch
with some family members at Cracker Barrel.
An older couple came in and were seated right behind us, sort of in a
corner… I noticed the man requested this table and quickly realized why that probably
was. They looked to be in their 80s. He was holding on to his wife’s
arm and helping her to the table. He
pulled out the chair for her like a true gentleman. She sat down and he was helping her get
scooted up towards the table when she began to fuss at him loudly to stop and
leave her alone. She even swatted at him once. He held his hands up as
if waving a white flag and said ok. By this time, half of the restaurant was looking in their direction to see what was going on. They
sat down and she took her purse and put it down on the floor beside her and
folded her arms with the most disgusted look on her face. He imitated her a couple of times, by
crossing his arms and making the same face at her, but always returning to his sincere
smile. She picked her purse up and
pulled out a wallet. She pulled playing
cards out of the spots where credit cards, drivers licenses or insurance cards
should probably be and proceeded to shuffle through them over and over
again. The look on her face was a look
of total misery and confusion, yet he never let his smile escape from his
face. This went on for probably 15
minutes. The waitress had come and asked
if they were having their usual chicken pot pie and seemed like she knew them
well. I knew right away what this
situation was. She has Alzheimers.
I worked in the world of long term care for
several years when I first got out of college.
I know all the signs and also know the pain family members endure when
the relationship is forever changed by that disease. As a social service director at a nursing
home, I watched families endure the pain day in and day out. It’s one of the most heart wrenching diseases
to me. I watched husbands and wives no longer recognize each other. I watched parents scream at their children to get out of their room, that they did not know them. It was a daily struggle to keep it together through a work day when all you wanted to do was comfort people who were hurting from the affects of it.
Just before their food arrived,
she had not spoken one word to him but continued with her distressed facial
expression, thumbing through her playing cards.
He spoke loudly because, let’s face it, they are probably both a little
hard of hearing at their age… so I was able to hear much of what he was saying
to her. I was truly touched. He reached over and held his hand out to her
across the table. She acted at first
like it was an aggravation to her, then reluctantly put her hand in his. His smile widened and he said “You know how
much I love you, right?... and I’m so proud of you.” She didn’t say a word, just nodded her head
yes and went back to shuffling through the contents of her wallet. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn’t stop watching this testament of
real, lifelong love unfolding before my very eyes.
All kinds of thoughts went through my mind,
but mostly that I hope to be blessed like that when I grow old. I hope Stan is there to reach his hand out to
me, or me to him, to have a fleeting moment of normalcy should one of us fall
victim to this disease. I hope both of
us will be able to show that kind of grace, mercy and selfless love towards
each other, no matter what our situation will be. People today think they have problems? Try talking to this man with the sweet smile…
He will probably make you think otherwise pretty quick. Or he might just tell you how great his life is.
I asked the waitress to bring me their ticket
and she did. I watched his smile widen again when he asked for the check and she told him someone had paid for their meal. It was literally NOTHING, but seemed like the
only thing I could do in that moment.
Sometimes practicing kindness to a stranger is all we can do… I just had
to do something for these sweet strangers who affected me in a way they will
never even be aware of. Life’s lessons are
everywhere… sometimes we just have to be at the right place at the right time
and observe... and open our hearts.
