Christmas

Christmas. An extraordinary and special time of year that can often be swept away by stress and pressure, expectations and responsibilities, presents and worldly things… A time of year that the traditions and pressures of the holiday can become so important to uphold that we forget to actually live the moment and enjoy it… A time when everyone is striving to have the perfect gifts under the tree for children who don’t “need” a thing, the perfect decorations inside and out, and to attend every holiday party they are invited to just to keep up. 

Sadly, I am one of those people. I worry so much about what I want it to be that I forget to truly enjoy the weeks leading up to Christmas.  When I’m guilty, I say I’m guilty. 

Christmas to me is about LOVE, yet I am foolishly guilty of making it about THINGS.  Christmas is about ALL children, not just my own.  Christmas is about family…not just my family, but ALL families.  It is not just about our little town, our county, our state or nation… It is about the WORLD.  Christmas is about the lonely old lady on your street who has no family and might spend the day alone.  Christmas is about giving from the heart, not from our wallet.  Christmas is about the thankfulness for the year that has passed and how blessed we were in it…and looking forward to the new year to come and all of the exciting opportunities that may lie in store for us. Christmas is about others.  It is not about us. It is about helping to make someone else's day a little brighter than before.

At a time of the year where most celebrate the spirit of the season, there are families out there who may be apart, who have sick children, sick parents, who have no money to provide gifts for their kids, who are suffering through the loss of loved ones or going through a painful divorce. There are so many situations, yet so often we make it all about ourselves.  My children were fortunate enough to participate in Service Day recently at Connection Church and we took gifts and meals to a family right here in our own town.  Right here, underneath our noses, people live in horrific situations that we turn a blind eye to.  To go into that home and bring smiles to those children’s faces brought me more joy this year than it ever has before.  There were no presents under their tree, no fancy lights to impress the neighbors, no Target or Belk bags thrown everywhere because they had gone on a mindless shopping spree to buy gifts for people who don’t “need” anything at all.  There was just a little bare tree and some Christmas colored balloons taped to the ceiling.  I’ve participated in plenty of things like this over the years, but never have I been affected like I was this year.  I don’t know if that’s because I’m getting older or because my life is so full… I think it’s a combination of both.

Stan is notorious for leaving me love notes (nobody gag or laugh now at our sappiness) – and he left me one in my car this morning that said “YOU are my Christmas”.  How blessed to know that I can be that for him… and that he is that for me too.  He and I got engaged in early December and that has set the tone of the season for me… Christmas is LOVE.  Not just romantic love, but love for the world, for mankind, for those less fortunate, for those hurting, for those who are sick, for those who are lost and confused and trying to find their happiness in this world.  He has given me a whole new reason to love Christmas… and every holiday really.  We are truly blessed and so are our children.  We both have been through a lot of “life” and know what is important.  We place so much more energy on the things that cannot be bought, but can only be felt… and those are the things that matter most.  I hope each and every one of you have a Merry Christmas and a prosperous and healthy year in 2016.  May you be as blessed as I am in what you have the ability to FEEL this Christmas season.

Thankfulness...

So, although I am horrible at keeping up with writing these blogs and I certainly haven't done the daily November entries of things I am thankful for, I am a VERY thankful person. Today, I choose to focus on my family... Here goes...

For me, family is a very broad term that applies to a whole lot of people.  So specifically, I am thankful for my parents, who brought me into the world and taught me right from wrong (or tried!).  I love their example of a long lasting marriage, something I have so far not been blessed with. (but I plan to be in that club in a few decades if Stan will keep putting up with me.)  They have seen me struggle with divorce, cancer, death & almost everything in between. They were only blessed with one living child, but that one child has given them a run for their money, caused a lot of worry and made them sit through a lot of sleepless, worried nights.  (and they never killed me - thanks guys! :) ) They have seen me through the darkest of times but never left my side.  I am thankful for my children... all 5 of them... the 3 I gave birth to and the 2 that I chose to love and raise as my own.  They are special... every single one of them.  They bring daily joy into my life with their sweet smiles and innocence.  Every one of our children live in non-traditional households because of divorce or the death of a parent... and they do it well.  They will never know how much they amaze me and how much they are all loved.  I am thankful for my in-laws... Every single one of them... past & present.  I am thankful that they are all there, especially for my children, and that they help me show them every day that despite their unique circumstances, they are loved in many places and in many hearts.   I'm thankful that my children will grow up knowing that love and family aren't about blood.
I am thankful for a vast amount of aunts, uncles and cousins that I love dearly.  I'm so glad that we are the close family that we are... it is rare nowadays to find large extended families who get along and truly love each other.  We do that. I am so grateful for every one of you... When I count my immediates, I have 7 uncles, 8 aunts and 16 first cousins, spouses not included.  I also have 20 second cousins and many of them are like my own children!  Not everyone can even name a 2nd cousin, yet some of those kids are like siblings to my children.  It's amazing really... And I thank all of you for what you bring into my life.   Every single one of you have impacted my life and shaped me and I thank you for that.  I hope some of you younger ones will look back someday and say that I helped shape yours!  Don't think for a second that I forgot about Stan... Because guess what?  He gets to be last...mainly because, well, he is the only one in this list of poor souls that CHOSE me...so he is his own kind of special.  Everyone else was stuck with me because of blood relation, like it or not.  He actually sought me out, apparently found some good in me and stuck around. He and I are definitely not the traditional couple at all... We are Mike and Carol Brady, minus the bell bottoms and weird stuff! Haha! We lived whole lives before each other, yet somehow it all fit together perfectly and the past was erased when we came together.  I am so thankful for him on so many levels.  He tells me daily how thankful he is for me... and some days I have no clue why.  He tells me that even though our time together has been short, that it has been the best of his life. He tells me that he never knew that true love REALLY existed until he met me.  He tells me that I am his soulmate and that he knew it from practically our first date.  He stepped into a role that many men would have run from.  For many, it would have been too much drama... It would have been too hard... It would have been too much work... But for him, it was an easy, selfless choice.  I am thankful every day for the chance he took with me. Our choice to be together has been our every happiness and our beautiful family is our greatest blessing.

So, today, like every day, I am abundantly thankful.  I probably don't say it enough but my heart overflows every day with love and gratitude for my many blessings in this life.  I am also grateful for our many friends, young and old.  Happy Thanksgiving to you all, with lots of love.

The Truth Often Hurts

I promise... all of my blog entries aren't controversial or opinionated.  This one, however, is just that.  Sorry in advance!  

People who know me best know that I am 1000% honest. Honesty is one of my biggest pet peeves.  You better be honest with me always.  I will be honest with you.  Always. It's just not something I bend on.  Have I told little white lies that don't hurt anyone?  Of course!  We all do that to protect a person's feelings.  (For example:  "No, my friend... I don't think you've looked like you've gained weight!")  That's different than being dishonest about a serious situation or about something that is meaningful.  However, I'm amazed at the grown people that just can't handle the truth.  Dish out a little bit of truth and they get all defensive and claim to feel victimized by what they are hearing.  Maybe if you can't handle the truth, you are the problem. Maybe that means you are wrong.  Maybe that means you should look at yourself and reassess.  If the truth offends you, then you are the one with issues.  Sorry.  That's just the way it is.  I don't want to be associated with people who can't accept the truth, but want to put their own spin on it.  That was pretty short and sweet, but in need of being said today.  And yes, I have images..Always!  :) 

Doing the Right Thing...

From the time we are small children, we are taught (hopefully) by our parents the importance of doing the "right thing".  From treating others with respect to having a "happy plate"... It's all relevant in doing the "right thing".  As we get older and life begins to take its toll on us, it seems that some people find it harder to do what is right.  Life gets in the way. Greed gets in the way.  Finances get in the way.  Our jobs, our kids, our lack of time for ourselves, dealing with problems past/present/future... They can make you selfish.  It all clouds our judgment of doing the right thing in all situations. Doing the right thing isn't always the easiest road to take.  In fact, it's often the more difficult path.  It's often the one that requires a lot of thought and a lot of sacrifice.  I'm thankful that my parents raised me to do the right thing.  I'm not perfect.  Far from it.  I've certainly walked my own path of wrong choices and mistakes.  Despite all of that, I'm glad that I still possess compassion for others, no matter what bearing it has on my own life.  Whether I know you or not, I have compassion.  Whether I like you or not, I have compassion. Whether our skin is the same color or not, I have compassion. Whether our beliefs are the same or not, I have compassion. 
I work with people every day in my job who are struggling to pay tax bills they can't pay.  It takes an emotional toll on me day in and day out because I do have such a sympathetic heart and a love for others, even strangers.  I want to help, even when it isn't my "job" or my "duty" to help.  At the end of the day, I know that I can lay my head down each night and say that I strived to do right every day...That I strived to hear the needs of another person and help them if at all possible.  This is what compassion is all about.  I'm amazed at the lack of compassion in so many people.  People right here in our community.  People who immerse themselves in church and call themselves Christians.  People who are hypocritical in that they hide behind a cloak of "godliness", yet help to inflict pain and suffering on others.  People who view their needs as more important than the needs of others. I may go to my grave with fewer possessions and less money in the bank, but I will always know that I treated others the way I wanted to be treated and never tried to step on others for my own benefit.  In fact, I will always know that I worked hard to build others up every chance I got.

Little Things That Make Me Smile.....

Sometimes, the smallest little things just bring a smile to my face....I've never considered myself a person who was hard to please whatsoever.  Sometimes in the craziness of life, it's nothing short of awesome to just sit back and think of all the little things that make you smile.  Most of the time, these things are totally free and cannot be bought.  I'm so thankful for all of the amazing, free moments in life that take my breath away.  

* Love notes for no reason, left in my car or my purse ( or anywhere!) 
* Hugs & Kisses from my children
* Feeling my Apple watch tap me when Stan sends me a drawing or his heartbeat
* Watching Stan with the kids and knowing that despite what life threw at them, they will grow up with a father who loves them
* Fresh cut grass
* Sitting outside in our backyard (our new project and work-in-progress) and watching the squirrels and birds (Now that we are feeding them with all sorts of contraptions, we have a LOT of new friends.)
* Coming home to all of the laundry being done
* Hearing my husband tell me that he realizes he never knew true love until he met me
* Watching our kids on the trampoline in their bathing suits with the sprinkler going underneath it... Ahhhh, the joy of childhood and having no worries... It's priceless.
* Hearing Sara and Skylar refer to each other as "sisters"... Even at 4, despite their circumstances, they have a sense of family that is strong.  I love that.
* Middle of the night snuggles...Waking up randomly and realizing I am in the arms of an amazing man who loves me and who I love dearly
* Liam singing "Thinking Out Loud" to the top of his lungs in the car... He's my little Ed Sheeran
* Stan scaring Hope... (I don't know why, but she's a teenager and it's just fun...)
* Having two teenage girls in our family and knowing that they are both smart, strong & have a compassionate heart towards others... Thanks girls for being good examples for your younger siblings!  
* Liam asking us every night "Will you sleep with me 10 minutes?", while holding up 4 fingers...
* Stan & I binge-watching television shows... Right now we are rewatching all of Walking Dead... It's just fun.  
* Speaking with a British accent to the children just to be silly (they call it my Mary Poppins voice)
* Stan singing randomly in the car, making up the words as he goes, and me chiming in (right now, he is on a serious kick about being "Southern" and "the South"...) The kids get hysterically amused by us.  Also,  our renditions of famous movies scenes... A while back, we did a rendition from the opening of "Into the Woods" in our opera style voices.  Hope videoed it.  It was epic.
* The fact that I've made Stan a Disney freak like myself... I'm super stoked about that. (Although Disney certainly doesn't fall in that "free" category...Haha!)
* Knowing that I can make Stan happy every meal time just by picking Shane's :)
* Hearing my husband tell me every single day that he thinks I am amazing 
* Feeling a true partnership with Stan, knowing that together, we love each other, respect each other and are a true team.  
* Falling asleep holding hands, which we pretty much do every night.   

I really could go on and on... I'm just blessed and sometimes I want to shout it from the rooftops. You get the idea.... So for those of you who have asked... Yes, I still blog... Yes, it's still random... and sometimes kind of like free therapy.  :)  I hope everyone has a great weekend!
~Leslie

My Psychology Degree Comes In Handy..

So... I'm one of those MANY people who spent 4 years getting a degree that I don't use on a daily basis.  I worked in the field for a few years... and honestly, with my soft heart, it was just too hard.  I spent most of that time working in a nursing home.  My title was "Social Services Director".  I did admissions, dealing with families who were struggling with the guilt of placing their loved one in a nursing facility.  I worked with the patients on a daily basis.  I was the general problem solver for 92 residents and about 50 staff members.  If they were sad, I tried to comfort them.  If they were happy, I tried to rejoice with them.  If they were looking for their husband or wife who had been dead for 10 years, I would help them look and then try to get them to rest or something so that maybe the twisted memory would go away.  I didn't mind it a bit, but it wore me down emotionally after a while.  Now, years later, I find myself to be the person that many choose to tell their problems to.  I don't mind that either, but I still take everyone's problems to heart.  Recently, there have been many discussions brought to me from people who are divorcing and dealing with issues with their children and ex-spouses.  I can totally relate to it... Even with our pretty much normal daily lives, there is still a lot of unwanted & unnecessary drama that creeps in... we aren't immune to it by any means.  From day 1, Stan and I have known pretty much everything about each other.  It's total honesty between us.  That's the ONLY way it can be.  We have both been through a lot in our lifetime, including divorce.  So I feel like we have a lot of life experience.  It is disheartening when people don't respect boundaries after divorce, especially when one person has remarried and started a new family.  It is disheartening when people try to pit their children against the new stepparent for no reason at all.  If there is reason, that's a different story... but if your child has been gifted a good hearted stepmom/stepdad, then you should be thankful for that.  Many kids aren't that fortunate.  It is also disheartening that parents will say things to children that are negative, make them worry, etc. where the other parent/family is concerned.  Why can't people realize that in most cases, children benefit from spending time with both parents?  It's just a dramatic attempt at control and manipulation to be that way.  It is also disheartening to hear things come from children that you KNOW were heard from an adults mouth and are now being repeated.  I am SO careful what I say around any of the kids around me.  I never want to plant a bad seed in their precious little minds about ANYTHING.  I just don't get that other seemingly good parents do it constantly.  It is just a blessing to me to be able to reflect at the end of the day and know that we do our best to do right by our kids. All of them.  Stan and I sat last night admiring our yard work and listening to the tranquil sound of the fountain by our back porch. We talked for the longest time... We do that a lot and I love that about us.  We communicate beautifully and I think that is the key! We talked about and wondered why sometimes we have to go through hell and back to get to the place we want to be.  It doesn't make sense.  It doesn't seem right that we have to blindly make our way to our happy place.  I think we both agree that we are just thankful for our mistakes and our struggles, for they ultimately lead us to our forever.  So.. friends... I never mind listening and helping you through your struggles... Goodness knows, I have plenty of my own!  I wish nothing but the happiest of endings for you all.  I am proof that it is possible.   

The Meaning of "I Love You"

I've been thinking a lot about the meaning behind the words when we say "I love you".  I saw this today on a blog I was reading and it was just too good not to share.  True love is total acceptance of each other and the complete absence of wanting someone to change.  So often, people go into relationships thinking the other person is "nice enough" and think they can live with them if certain changes eventually take place. We don't change people.  It's a fact. My heart goes out to all people today who are in these types of relationships.  (My heart goes out to one person in particular... you know who you are).  Don't settle.  Don't let another person define who you are.  Don't let another person change you.  You will never be at peace if you do that.  Find someone you are compatible with.  Find someone that you can tell your innermost thoughts to without judgement.  Find someone who is honest.  If they will tell you the truth, good or bad, then they are probably a keeper.  Make sure all of those things are reciprocated back too.  And never waste these precious words on people who are just not worthy.  

Sometimes, Life Really is Beyond our Control

So... many will think that this is about a particular person or something, but it's not.  It's about many people.  I have SO many friends, co-workers, loved ones and beyond going through divorce, the challenges of remarriage and blended families, or dating after a divorce... It's a constant story that you hear over and over again.  Until you've lived it, you can't sympathize with people...Not really. The saddest part is, no matter what, there are going to be situations in your life that you cannot control. People are going to say things behind your back.  Not in your control.  Ex-wives/ex-husbands/former friends/toxic people are going to exist.  Not in your control.  You will have people in your life that you don't necessarily want to be there (nor did you ask for them to be there).  Not in your control. (Guess what?  Maybe they didn't ask for you to be in their life either.)  People will play the sad, helpless victim and blame others for their own choices, what they can or can't do.  Not in your control.  Whoever thinks we control our own lives is just flat out wrong.  We cannot totally control what happens to us, but I do think we can control how we respond to it.  It's easier said than done... believe me, I know this as good as anyone does.  Some days I get so irritated over things that are out of my control. Those are bad days...defeated days.  I guess I make that choice or maybe that it's just that I'm too tired and broken down about it to fight the negativity anymore.  BUT... Always, I rise from it (usually pretty quickly) and shake it off.  It's all we can do.  In the end, bad moments are a small part of our time. The good moments far outweigh them.  I want to work on being less defeated by the bad things and more joyful in the good things.  It's something everyone has to work on I think, and I sure need to improve in that area.  I have too much good in my life and too many blessings in the form of my wonderful husband, children, family and friends to be overly concerned about those people and things that are not controllable.  Basically, when you make major life decisions consciously, own them.  Don't blame others for what YOU decided to do.  Forge a new path and move on.  Move on in every way...emotionally, physically, financially, etc. When you divorce someone, divorce them.  Free them from anything that ties them to you. (excluding children of course... that's not really possible).  Don't tie them down with your baggage.  Don't play the victim. Don't talk badly about the ex or his new family in front of your children... it WILL be repeated...And maybe not in exactly the way you said it, but either way, the damage is already done.  Don't use your path in life as a crutch to be weak and pathetic.  Bottom line: Stand on your own two feet.  If you can't, then make changes so that you CAN.  Sell things you can no longer afford on your own.  If you need an ex, a parent or other person on your mortgage or your car loan, you don't need to own it.  I know this sounds harsh, but it was just on my heart to say right now.  Sometimes we all need to vent.  I've stood on my own 2 feet for as long as I can remember and it blows me away at the people who don't. I'm so thankful my parents raised me to be independent.  It's been nothing but a blessing to me my whole adult life and I thank them for that.  This much I know....My life is beyond blessed.  Stan and I are amazingly happy in our new marriage, our children are all happy and healthy, I have an amazing large wonderful family that I wouldn't trade for the world and I have a few TRUE friends that I am lucky to have.   When life throws a curveball, you  might swing and miss the first time, but you can figure it out before the next pitch is thrown. (If you've got good common sense and the drive to do so) Hope everyone has a wonderful week.

Oh,Thyroid...How I Do Despise You...

So... Can't sleep and I ran across this article that was SO spot on... Read it... Even if you just know someone with a thyroid problem... It applies whether they have had cancer or not.


10 Things I Hate about Thyroid Cancer


I've had kind of an emotional day today.  A few of you know that I had thyroid cancer back in 2001... Many of you do NOT know, mainly because I don't choose to harp on it or whine about it.  EVER.  That's just not how I roll.  The only people that MIGHT hear my grumblings about it are Stan or my family or really a choice group of friends.   I just decided a long time ago to not let it worry me or stress me out.  Can it recur?  Sure.  Can I get hit by a car in my parking lot at work today?  Absolutely. So why worry about what you cannot control?  Secretly, I do worry, though...Just a little bit...Way back in the back of my mind, reserved for only me. I surely don't want anyone to THINK that I worry!  Heck no!  That's for people who are weak. That's my mindset.  I can't help it. Stan says I might be the most independent, stubborn person he's ever known...and he's right.  He doesn't say that in a bad way... it's who I am and he's known that from day 1.  Here's what being strong, silent and independent can do to you though.  It cuts people out.  It really does.  You refuse to admit you have literally felt fatigued and miserable for almost 14  years.  So, they have no clue.  You're an actress. You hide it from everyone.  You don't miss work.  You don't miss kids school events.  You don't miss vacations.  You just fake it and roll with everything.  You don't want anyone worrying and you sure don't want the attention or pity so you keep it tucked away to yourself.  Earlier today, I finally said to the specialist that I saw in Savannah... "I don't feel good and I feel that I deserve better with my health.  What can we radically do different?"  I didn't allow myself to feel bad about my weak honesty either.  His answer, after a while, was a new daily medicine.  It seems like this medicine either really works well for you or really does you badly.  All I can do is take a chance, take it for a month, go back to the doctor and see what happens. In the meantime, I'm giving advice to anyone with a chronic problem that they keep a secret.  It's ok to admit it. It's ok to talk about it.  It doesn't mean you are weak.  It means you acknowledge that it exists and that you want better for yourself (and it's ok to want that). Now, having said that... you probably won't hear me mention it again.  No one likes a Debbie Downer, now do they???  :)

  

Saint Patty's Day is Special To Me

For most people, Saint Patricks Day probably either has no meaning or it represents a drunken good time in Savannah.... For me, it represents one year that Stan and I have been together.  Our relationship was very clear from the start.  Between us, we shared TOTAL honesty and an undeniable level of compatibility.  We both agree that none of us are perfect and there is certainly no such thing as a "perfect marriage".  However, when two people can agree on most everything and are compatible with each other on so many levels, it just becomes a perfect match.  For us, it was this way from the start.  There was no denying what connections were between us, from very early on.  We've both lived a lot of life, experienced a lot of pain, made lots of mistakes.... yet through it all, we found our own version of perfection, in very little time.  One year later, I love him more and more as every day passes. I don't see that changing.  Ever.  We share everything.  We laugh.  We cry.  We help each other through bad times and celebrate together during the good times.  We have chosen to put our focus on each other always, which isn't always easy with all of the "layers" of our complicated lives. Still, we will keep our focus on US, providing lots of love and support for the children we are raising, and never losing sight of what's important.  Happy one year to us!  May there be many more years together.....

Say What You Wanna Say...

So... Stan and I are both HUGE fans of Saturday Night Live.  For as long as I can remember, I have loved it.  There was a bit the other night that absolutely was hilarious to both of us.  Sometimes those things just hit home and are SO REAL.  I feel like I spend most of my time balancing and carefully choosing what I say, what I feel, what I think... and it's mostly to appease other people. People that I didn't even necessarily CHOOSE to have in my life!  It's crazy!  If only I could break free and say what I really want to say.... I'm not sure I would have a job though... or any friends.  But how liberating would that be.... hmmmmm...... If you want to see the video I'm talking about just Google "SNL Say What you Wanna Say"... Guaranteed to make you laugh!

Negativity at Its Finest....

I am blessed.  I am lucky.  I am amazed at life.  I may not be "rich" by the world's standards of dollars in the bank, but I am richer than I ever imagined if you consider the love and joy in my life.  I ran into a lady today at lunch... I don't even know her name.  Story of my life.  She used to always be in spin class with me at the gym but stopped going a long time ago.  I would talk to her routinely yet never really knew exactly who she was.  (I tend to be that person that does that!)  She asked me how things were going for me and stated that she had not seen me in a while.  I told her that I had been doing well, had recently remarried, had 3 awesome children, 2 stepdaughters that are amazing... Before I could even finish, she winced as if she were in pain.  "Oh honey... You've got your hands full.  I wouldn't be in your shoes for anything.  Goodness, that makes me tired!".  Let's just say this... Not only did I lose all respect in a split second for this "acquaintance" who thought she had the right to make commentary about MY life, but I also shut her up pretty quickly.  For those of you that know me well, I'm generally pretty quick witted and if I cannot come up with something quick enough in a moment like that, I get frustrated with myself!  I had my act together today though!  My response took about a second.  (and I did it with a smile on my face)  "Well, thanks for that... but I happen to believe that my shoes are a pretty awesome place to be... so awesome that you probably couldn't handle it.  Nice seeing you."  I walked out of Jimmy Johns as quickly as I had walked in (good thing they are the fastest subs in town on a day like today).  As I got in my car, a guilty conscience wanted to get the best of me... Was I harsh?  Was I snappy?  Did I offend her?  These were all questions that went through my mind.... But guess what? NO.  SHE was the one that was harsh, snappy and offensive. I wish people could think about what they say sometimes before they say it.  It's amazing to me that people that know nothing about you really can be so opinionated.  My motto has become this... If you and I don't share blood or money in the bank, your opinion should be irrelevant to me. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions.  It is, after all, a free country.  However, scattering your worthless opinions all over the place over things that aren't your business anyway just make you look stupid.  So, that incident today was on her.   Why do people jump to see the negativity in everything? Life is hard enough at its best without people purposefully trying to bring you down.  My life is blessed.  Stan and I tell our kids that having a big family is just an extra blessing, that there are more people to love and care for you.  I believe that wholeheartedly.  Is it easy? No.  Is it worth it? Absolutely.  Do sacrifices have to be made?  Every single day.  I just had to purchase a vehicle we could all fit in comfortably.  It wasn't exactly my dream vehicle for whenever I got a new one.  But it's what our family needed to travel comfortably together and we are blessed to be able to make the car payment.  There is positivity in everything.  I'm certainly not perfect and I let negativity get the best of me sometimes too...but at least I do try to keep it to myself.  And when I have the chance, if I run into a friend who has recently remarried and acquired a whole new family, lifestyle and a "bus" to haul them all in... I will be the voice of encouragement and support.  We all need that in life!

Bethany's Father/Daughter Dance 2015

Brooke and Boyd Greene began the father/daughter dance tradition in Statesboro several years ago and it has become such a wonderful community event and fundraiser.  Brooke and Boyd are both people that I am pleased to call friends and a huge shout out goes to them for creating this wonderful time for dads and their daughters.  Tonight, my heart melted as Stan escorted our two little girls to the dance.  This was his first experience taking TWO girls... YIKES!  They were so excited.  We curled hair, dressed up and even put on a little bit of lip gloss.  Stan doesn't like when I draw attention to him, but he deserves so much credit for being the person he is, especially with his role as a "dad", which he takes such pride and care with.  Back when the Facebook invitations and posts about ticket sales began, his wheels began to turn.  He contemplated taking the girls at two separate times, not because he didn't think they would have fun together, but because he wanted Sara to have her own experience and feel like it was special for HER.  He just was putting so much thought into making it special for her.  And I appreciated that more than he will ever comprehend.  Not every man stepping into the dad role in the situation we have would be so thoughtful.  The thing is, he isn't just like that on father/daughter dance day, he's that way EVERY day.  Sure, it's a confusing situation for all of the little kids sometimes, but it doesn't have to be.  There don't have to be boundaries.  After all, family isn't about blood.  It's about who you choose to love and accept for a lifetime.  I am so thankful for this love that he and I share, and the love that spills over endlessly into the children too.  I feel so blessed every single day.  Obviously, in the end, we both decided the girls would have a blast together, so they all went at the same time.  They had a ball and amazing memories were made.

Bone Contusions, Pinched Nerves and Lost Ray Bans... This is Life

So... it's been quite a few days... and I don't give my sweet hubby enough public credit (because he doesn't want it)... but here goes.   I managed to knock a paint can off the laundry room counter on Saturday night.  Where did it land?  Right on top of my right foot, with no shoe on.  Yeah... Fun stuff. The foot I already broke many years ago! Stan had run to grab dinner for us and I had all of the little kids at home.  I sat in the laundry room floor and cried.  It hurt that bad.  The girls were totally unphased by it, but sweet Liam kept saying "It's ok, Mama... Stan be right back."  Even at his little age, he already knows that Stan can take care of most anything.  Flash forward to the next morning and we are all in the truck, headed to AppleCare.  I was so worried about him having to deal with all of the kids by himself.  Not that he can't handle it with ease, but trust me, if you've never been entrusted with two 4-year-old girls and a 2-year-old boy all at once, it's not for the faint of heart.  None of them are bad or unruly children by any means...in fact, quite the opposite. But together, they are a deadly and tiring threesome!  Haha!  Not once did Stan complain.  He took it all so calmly. They dropped me off at my request (I hobbled in with one shoe on-what a sight!) and I told him I would text him when I was almost done.  About an hour and a half later, they picked me back up, cute velcro surgical shoe and all.  Nevermind that he's been battling a pinched nerve in his neck for almost 2 weeks...He was there to help me now.  I cannot tell you how amazing that feels... to have that kind of support from your best friend.  Anyway, it was so swollen and bruised but they called it a severe bone contusion and possibly a hairline fracture.  No cast is needed, thank goodness.... Just time, ice and as much propping as possible.  We are quite a pair right now with our ice and our moans and groans... but we are still laughing through it and cracking "old" jokes about ourselves.  And I'm on him to follow up with the doctor again if his problems don't start getting better soon!

Last night, on my "birthday eve", pretty wrapped packages appeared on our bed... To explain this story better, flash back to Valentines Day.  We spent the day in Savannah, enjoying a date day.  Along the way, we made a stop at Toys R Us, where I managed to take my favorite Ray Bans off my head and sit them down.  STUPID!  I walk away, realize it 5 minutes later and go back to find them gone, of course.  Who turns in a $250 pair of sunglasses right?  After checking, with lost and found, I quickly realized they were gone.  I'm a sensitive person when it comes to stuff like that.  I rarely lose things and beat myself up when I do.  I just consider it careless and a huge waste of money!  For two weeks now I've worried over losing them, but with all the kids, their needs always come before my wants. I unwrapped this gift to find a brand new pair.  He had to go get Chris at The Sir Shop to help him figure out which ones they were and special order them because they were a different style than most people have.  He literally took his phone and they went through pictures of me in those sunglasses to figure it out.  If that's not love, I don't know what is!  The thought that went into that gift meant the world to me.  It wasn't just a run out and grab something kind of gift.  It took effort and time and a whole bunch of love.  I'm amazed daily by it.  I don't always show it probably and I certainly don't deserve it, but those things mean the world to me and I never want that to go unnoticed. I am so thankful for special days and surprises from a man who means the world to me.

I've Got Some Catching Up To Do...

So.... Today is my birthday.  I want to thank everyone for all of the many birthday wishes I've received today through Facebook, email, text messages and other means.  My phone hasn't had this much activity in a while!  I have again neglected my blog, something I said I was really going to try to keep up with.  At any rate, I promise to do better in the future.  First and foremost, in case you somehow missed the obnoxiousness of my lovey dovey Facebook posts this past month or so, Stan and I were married on January 19 at my favorite place on the planet, Disney World.  We were married at Disney's Polynesian Village Resort and it could not have been more perfect.  It was just the two of us...No crowd, no production... Just a beautifully intimate service on the beach of Disney's Bay Lake...just the way it should be.  (No worries... I attached a couple of pictures below!)  I really look back at the past year of my life and see the tremendous blessings that have unfolded. I am a lucky girl to have found someone so willing to not only love me, but to love my children as his own.  Our new blended family is taking shape and is doing GREAT.  I know many people hear the horror stories of the merging of two households, but I believe we have done it so smoothly and peacefully.  We are blessed that our kids have just merged into one collective unit.  They all show such love for each other.  Sure, they fuss sometimes...All kids that age do.  The girls in particular truly love spending time together and playing together... and being "princess sisters" and "mermaid sisters". They are quite a pair!  Liam is in his own little boy world, with Stan as his only ally.  Caitlin and Hope are in their own teenage world, so we have every spectrum covered. (No offense, girls.  Love you!) We have had a lot of love and support and we appreciate that more than I could ever express.  We have a lot of unusual circumstances to deal with in our day to day life, but we do it with as much grace, patience and love as we can muster.  I could not ask for a better person to spend my life with and have walking beside me always.  I don't get on Facebook and other social media like I used to (I don't really have time, unless it's to post a picture of the kids or something), so I rarely share things that are very personal.  This is kind of my opportunity to do so. Much love to you all and thanks again for all of the birthday wishes!  38 isn't too bad so far!  :-)