10 Things I Hate about Thyroid Cancer
I've had kind of an emotional day today. A few of you know that I had thyroid cancer back in 2001... Many of you do NOT know, mainly because I don't choose to harp on it or whine about it. EVER. That's just not how I roll. The only people that MIGHT hear my grumblings about it are Stan or my family or really a choice group of friends. I just decided a long time ago to not let it worry me or stress me out. Can it recur? Sure. Can I get hit by a car in my parking lot at work today? Absolutely. So why worry about what you cannot control? Secretly, I do worry, though...Just a little bit...Way back in the back of my mind, reserved for only me. I surely don't want anyone to THINK that I worry! Heck no! That's for people who are weak. That's my mindset. I can't help it. Stan says I might be the most independent, stubborn person he's ever known...and he's right. He doesn't say that in a bad way... it's who I am and he's known that from day 1. Here's what being strong, silent and independent can do to you though. It cuts people out. It really does. You refuse to admit you have literally felt fatigued and miserable for almost 14 years. So, they have no clue. You're an actress. You hide it from everyone. You don't miss work. You don't miss kids school events. You don't miss vacations. You just fake it and roll with everything. You don't want anyone worrying and you sure don't want the attention or pity so you keep it tucked away to yourself. Earlier today, I finally said to the specialist that I saw in Savannah... "I don't feel good and I feel that I deserve better with my health. What can we radically do different?" I didn't allow myself to feel bad about my weak honesty either. His answer, after a while, was a new daily medicine. It seems like this medicine either really works well for you or really does you badly. All I can do is take a chance, take it for a month, go back to the doctor and see what happens. In the meantime, I'm giving advice to anyone with a chronic problem that they keep a secret. It's ok to admit it. It's ok to talk about it. It doesn't mean you are weak. It means you acknowledge that it exists and that you want better for yourself (and it's ok to want that). Now, having said that... you probably won't hear me mention it again. No one likes a Debbie Downer, now do they??? :)
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