Sometimes, Life Really is Beyond our Control

So... many will think that this is about a particular person or something, but it's not.  It's about many people.  I have SO many friends, co-workers, loved ones and beyond going through divorce, the challenges of remarriage and blended families, or dating after a divorce... It's a constant story that you hear over and over again.  Until you've lived it, you can't sympathize with people...Not really. The saddest part is, no matter what, there are going to be situations in your life that you cannot control. People are going to say things behind your back.  Not in your control.  Ex-wives/ex-husbands/former friends/toxic people are going to exist.  Not in your control.  You will have people in your life that you don't necessarily want to be there (nor did you ask for them to be there).  Not in your control. (Guess what?  Maybe they didn't ask for you to be in their life either.)  People will play the sad, helpless victim and blame others for their own choices, what they can or can't do.  Not in your control.  Whoever thinks we control our own lives is just flat out wrong.  We cannot totally control what happens to us, but I do think we can control how we respond to it.  It's easier said than done... believe me, I know this as good as anyone does.  Some days I get so irritated over things that are out of my control. Those are bad days...defeated days.  I guess I make that choice or maybe that it's just that I'm too tired and broken down about it to fight the negativity anymore.  BUT... Always, I rise from it (usually pretty quickly) and shake it off.  It's all we can do.  In the end, bad moments are a small part of our time. The good moments far outweigh them.  I want to work on being less defeated by the bad things and more joyful in the good things.  It's something everyone has to work on I think, and I sure need to improve in that area.  I have too much good in my life and too many blessings in the form of my wonderful husband, children, family and friends to be overly concerned about those people and things that are not controllable.  Basically, when you make major life decisions consciously, own them.  Don't blame others for what YOU decided to do.  Forge a new path and move on.  Move on in every way...emotionally, physically, financially, etc. When you divorce someone, divorce them.  Free them from anything that ties them to you. (excluding children of course... that's not really possible).  Don't tie them down with your baggage.  Don't play the victim. Don't talk badly about the ex or his new family in front of your children... it WILL be repeated...And maybe not in exactly the way you said it, but either way, the damage is already done.  Don't use your path in life as a crutch to be weak and pathetic.  Bottom line: Stand on your own two feet.  If you can't, then make changes so that you CAN.  Sell things you can no longer afford on your own.  If you need an ex, a parent or other person on your mortgage or your car loan, you don't need to own it.  I know this sounds harsh, but it was just on my heart to say right now.  Sometimes we all need to vent.  I've stood on my own 2 feet for as long as I can remember and it blows me away at the people who don't. I'm so thankful my parents raised me to be independent.  It's been nothing but a blessing to me my whole adult life and I thank them for that.  This much I know....My life is beyond blessed.  Stan and I are amazingly happy in our new marriage, our children are all happy and healthy, I have an amazing large wonderful family that I wouldn't trade for the world and I have a few TRUE friends that I am lucky to have.   When life throws a curveball, you  might swing and miss the first time, but you can figure it out before the next pitch is thrown. (If you've got good common sense and the drive to do so) Hope everyone has a wonderful week.