1. If you call in sick to work but spend all day on Facebook sharing recipes, liking posts and commenting on peoples’ pictures, people will talk about you.
2. If you share someone’s Facebook post when you are not friends with them and then immediately delete it because you did it by accident while stalking them, people will talk about you. (and yes, you are CAUGHT)
3. If you sit or hang around too closely with your ex husband or ex wife out in public, despite the fact they are completely ignoring you, people will talk about you.
4. If you spend more hours daily in the bathroom and/or kitchen of your workplace than you do at your desk, people will talk about you.
5. If you are dressing like you’re 18 when clearly you’re past 40, people will talk about you. (and trust me, I'm pushing that age myself so I think I'm ok in saying that!)
6. If you get up in church and walk in and out more than once, people will talk about you (and perhaps believe you have bladder or gastrointestinal issues.)
7. If you still have pictures of your ex husband or ex wife on social media, people will talk about you. When people see that, you look like you have clearly not moved on or are holding on to some sad world that didn’t work out for you. And don’t think people won’t report these weirdnesses to your ex (or even their new spouse). People are really weirded out by this… and for good reason. It’s weird and sad. Enough said.
8. If you are always broke, mooching off your mommy and daddy who are now pretty much elderly, while your children continue to wear designer clothes and attend private school, people will talk about you.
9. If you are perfectly capable of doing something for yourself but let someone else do it for you, you will be considered lazy and yes, people will talk about you.
10. If you try to invite people to church/social gatherings/parties because of “who they are”, people will talk about you. Treat the CEO and the janitor the same. Did your parents teach you nothing?
11. If you are squeezing into a small t shirt when clearly you need a large, people will talk about you. (This same principle also applies to leggings – be careful, people.)
12. If you leave the restroom and people know you have not washed your hands thoroughly, with soap, people will talk about you.
13. If someone deletes you from their Facebook account and you continue to send them new friend requests over and over, people will talk about you. Stop. Clearly the friendship is no longer desired. Get over it. It’s ok. You probably didn’t have their phone number in real life anyway. No major loss, is it?
14. If you are a salaried employee who works a 3 day week and takes 2 hour lunches every day, people will talk about you.
15. If you are perfectly capable of working and choose to stay home while your children all are on Medicaid and you are living way beyond your means, people will talk about you. They smell a rat. (and they are probably right)
16. If you are running for public office, people will talk about you. No skeletons or negative things there? No worries… they will make something up.
17. If you put out “unspoken prayer requests”, people will talk about you. It’s not that you are doing anything wrong, but you are asking people to pray but they don’t know what they are supposed to pray for, which makes that job a little bit difficult for some people. It also leads people’s minds down a dark path, envisioning that the absolute worst possible thing might be wrong and is viewed by many people as an overall attention seeking tool. If you need prayer, go ahead and put out a general prayer request for what you need it for. You don’t have to be super specific, but please make sure people don’t immediately think you are dying. This can also start a lot of unnecessary talk behind your back as others talk amongst themselves to try to figure out what’s wrong. (Side note & the main reason for #17: A good friend and I have had this conversation many times. She put out an unspoken prayer request when her mom was ill. By the next day, half of Statesboro was saying her husband had left her for another woman. Pretty sure it took them about 2 years to get that out of everyone’s heads!)
18. If you run your floor heater in the summer time at work, people will talk about you, lovingly of course. (Wink Wink to my dear co-workers who tolerate my extreme cold intolerance!)
19. If you leave your coffee creamer on the counter for more than 5 minutes, your co-workers will talk about you (and pour it out!). That one is just for you Donna Johnson….
20. And last but not least, no matter what you do, what kind of happy life you are living, people will talk about you.
Plain and simple. People are always going to talk about others. Period. Nothing you can do about it and why bother? You won’t change people and you can’t force others to stop doing things that annoy you. You can be living the happiest, boring life ever and people will still find something to say. I could write a book on the things I hear every day from people! However, some people sometimes need reminders to stop being weird and stop doing weirdish things to draw negative attention to themselves. That’s good, free advice right there! Have a great week everyone!!
P.S. If you are offended by this post, forgive me. It wasn’t intended to be offensive. It was really intended to be funny. But if somehow you are offended by it, go ahead and talk about it. I’m ok with that. :)
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